Growing up in Miami Beach, I was constantly exposed to many women that fit the mold of “beautiful” in our society- these women were young-looking, in shape, and polished, everywhere around me all the time. I distinctly remember when I went to college in Boston what a different experience it was to see people of many different shapes, sizes, styles, and overall appearance than what I was used to. And when we moved to an artsy town in West Virginia for a few years I got some perspective (and a break) in terms of values and what felt important when it came to appearance.
When we moved back to Miami Beach almost 5 years ago it was a new experience, even worse in some ways because now I was surrounded by moms dropping off their children- all wearing workout clothes (whether they were working out or not) and almost all a size 6 or under… mostly. The pressure was on again. It’s not that I didn’t want to be healthier and feel better about myself, but the energy of “keeping up with the Jones’s” was definitely there…” I did the best I could in those few years- buying more flattering clothing that hid the right spots and highlighted others… walked and worked out when I could- and tried to be gentle with myself and not self loathing of my body as much as possible.
Then about 1 year and a half ago, after a powerful Unleash the Power Within, I finally became motivated to actually join a gym. I hadn’t felt that desire in over 10 years! I joined a kickboxing gym that was hard core and fun! I would still be going there except we moved a few months ago about 45 minutes away from that gym, to a great neighborhood with great schools…. And joined a new gym. Don’t get me wrong this gym is great, but… there are TVS and strobe lights during some of the classes. What a completely different experience!
I took a spin class a few weeks ago and there were music videos on. All the self loathing voices came flooding in, “you don’t look like that. Look how beautiful their bodies are… look how tall they are… look at those curves…” and on and on. I left the gym feeling worse about myself than if I had gone. WTF?
Normally I do not watch music videos or a lot of TV (other than movies I select). I do not buy magazines and try to avoid whatever tabloids are showing at the grocery store. But here, in the gym, were videos of other women I could not avoid. How to make peace with that?
My body is mine, and it changes all the time. What I want more than a “beautiful” by my standards body, is one that works amazingly well, providing me energy and vitality to accomplish anything I want and feel great.
For the record, I have never gone back to that particular class and have since found more enjoyable workouts that lend themselves to more self confidence and a positive self image. The moral of the story is:
Protect yourself from the stimulus you let in around you (magazines, TV, social media, etc.)
Create the environment that is best and most supportive for you (be in in a gym, at work, or at home)
Be gentle with yourself. If you notice you are feeling bad about yourself, use this EFT guide from Brad Yates, or this Louise Hay mirror exercise. .
The challenge this week rockstars is to highlight (or find) ONE supportive environment where you feel great about yourself. This can be in the bathroom looking in the mirror and smiling at yourself for a few minutes a day. Let’s keep this simple. Giddy up rockstars!
