Self Love, Personal Growth, Healing
Self Love Music

Lighten Up Self Love Rockstar!

Before reading another word of this post… we recommend getting yourself “in the mood.” Any upbeat, happy song will do. We recommend “Let’s Get Loud.” Jennifer Lopez encapsulates what this post is about… getting LOUD and having FUN!

Self Love Rockstars… sometimes we have a habit of taking ourselves wayyyyyyyyy too seriously. We over process, overanalyze, overwork, sometimes over criticize, and basically “over” anything and everything. Grinding, exploring, inspecting, reflecting, processing, working, and “doing” are all important and essential qualities of loving ourselves and rocking it. But… another equally, if not more important practice of self love is having more FUN!

Tony Robbins stresses the importance of changing our state physically and mentally so that our ideal higher standards (in terms of our quality of life), can reflect in our physiology and experience of the world. In other words, HOW do we deal with things and situations around us? Abraham (Esther) Hicks teaches that the simple act of feeling good helps us flow downstream towards the things we want,  which is ultimately- happiness. It’s funny, because we shouldn’t really need convincing to just “chill out” and feel good, but sometimes we do. Why? What is our problem anyway?

Sometimes the issue can be that we feel it is necessary to pay extra attention to whatever “stuff” is going. Why?  Maybe  it appears (to ourselves and those we care about), that  we don’t care for example. Or maybe we focus on whatever “stuff” is going on in hopes that all the attention on the issue will change it somehow or miraculously solve it.. The truth of the matter is that the better we feel, the easier it is for more solutions to come our way, and the more impact we have on our experience.

To be perfectly clear rockstars, I’m not talking about the person who walks into a room uber cheerfully that seems inauthentic to everyone in the room… where you silently want to punch the person because they are overflowing with superficial happiness. Self Love fun is about feeling good and letting your effervescence pour out of you and into the universe.Put on some music, smile, get creative, move your body, and just go with the flow- even if it’s just for a few moments every day.

As Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” If we put our focus on having fun and “getting loud,” we will attract more fun into our life, which is a GOOD thing! Let’s all lighten up and have fun. The self love will flow easier into you when you let go of all the strings of stress pulling you the other direction. Try it!

Self Love FUN Challenge for the week; Don’t overthink or overanalyze anything (even this exercise) for ONE hour (or more) every day this week. Just relax and repeat the thought “I don’t have to figure this out right now” unless there is a true emergency like a fire or something of course. Put on some music, paint a picture, or do something else just for fun! Giddy up rockstars!

 

Self Love, Personal Growth
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Getting Comfortable with Change

Even though intellectually I understand that the only constant aspect in our lives is change, I still struggle with it sometimes. A false sense of security comes from having a routine and things seeming the same on the outside, even though in reality things are always changing… and it feels comforting somehow. Then something happens- it can be as small as dinner plans changing or as big as a move to another state- and it can feel like the carpet is pulled out from under me. Have you ever felt that way? How do I get comfortable with change?

Yet that is the illusion of it all- things change around us all the time! We cannot control anything around us whatsoever- certainly not nature, the environment, or definitely not other people (unfortunately).

Of course there is one way we can gain security and control with practice. Can you guess?

How Do I Get Comfortable With Change?

We can control ourselves. Yep- our SELVES. Specifically, we can control how we react, feel, and act in every moment. We can decide right now to feel good or smile regardless of what is going on around us, whether we are stuck in traffic or holding a crying baby in the night. We of course can also choose to feel bad. It’s up to us. Go ahead and try it now- smile (for at least 5 seconds)… it feels good!

The great thing about knowing this truth about having control and choosing how we feel and act  is that we can learn how. It would have been amazing if we all grew up in schools that taught us more about emotional intelligence, self control, and other amazing life tools. Thank goodness It is never too late to learn.

One of the best ways hands down to get in touch with you and your process is by going to a live event like Tony Robbin’s Unleash the Power Within- where you are immersed for several days in implementing this exact practice of becoming aware of your feelings (state) and learning how to shift gears when you want to. The empowerment that comes from knowing that you can feel good and are in control of YOU and your reactions is incredible.

Another great tool is listening to Louise Hay’s lectures online about changing the way we think using positive affirmations. She even recommends listening to them in the background while doing other things so that the messages sink into our subconscious.

An important note here is to be gentle with yourself in learning new tools… patterns can sometimes take a bit to shift- not always but sometimes. Celebrate small accomplishments and steps forward. Before you know it you will be several steps higher, and then higher on your path. Let’s enjoy the journey and become change welcoming rockstars! Go out of your way to create change and do things differently. Take a different route to work! Walk down different paths or shop in different stores than you are accustomed to- let’s do this!

Rockstar Challenge:

For the next 3 days do at least one thing different from the routine (even if it’s eating a different breakfast than you are used to)! And share it in the comments section below. We will do this too! Giddy up rockstars!

Self Love, Personal Growth, Self Love Rockstar
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Self Love and Setting Boundaries

More and more people in the personal growth space are talking about “setting boundaries.” What does that mean? I always visualize a boundary as literally taking a stick and drawing a line in the sand in front of me creating a personal space. If someone is speaking to me disrespectfully or rude, I will mention something about it and “set a boundary.” I am not rude about it, and I didn’t always feel comfortable doing it. Now it feels amazing. Setting a boundary can be as polite as, “Please don’t speak to me that way,” or simply walking away. A good question to ask yourself is whether or not you have healthy boundaries with others.

Do you find yourself more comfortable letting someone say something rude to you and making an excuse for them rather than calling them out on it? Do you give in to your parents or children when they want something to avoid confrontation? What about with work… are you taken advantage of in that environment or do you find yourself taking on more projects than you truly feel comfortable with?

One of the side effects of having a lack of self love in one’s life is also an issue with setting boundaries and “claiming” space. If we don’t feel worthy to even love ourselves, who are we to ask someone to stop doing something or leave us alone? In the journey of loving ourselves more, a great exercise is to practice setting healthy boundaries in all areas of your life- with loved ones, friends, colleagues, even bosses or other authority figures.

How?

Starting small is key. Start at the bottom of a staircase setting little boundaries and take one step at a time. Before you know it you will look back and be halfway up the stairs with confidence and healthy boundaries. An example of a small boundary step would be as simple as not taking action right away on something requested of you, or saying “yes” right away. Instead of answering a call, replying to an email right away, or saying “sure,” before committing to something you may not really feel like doing, instead consider pausing or saying “let me check” or “let me think about that.” This sends a message to the Universe that says “my needs are important.”

A bigger step may be declining an invitation somewhere (even if you don’t have other plans— just because you don’t want to go!) or not taking care of something right away for work. I’m not suggesting everyone gets fired for not doing their job- simply that sometimes prioritization means that all work does not get completed (at the expense of your quality of life) and that it doesn’t honor you or show your rockstar self love yumminess to let other people dictate what you do, when you do it, and how often.

I’m saying that- yes here it comes— it is OKAY to be “self-ish” and for those escalating the staircase journey of self love, it is ESSENTIAL!

Rockstar Self Love Challenge for the week- say “no” to someone or something at least 2 times this week and see how it feels! (For those of you who find this easy we will have a “say yes” challenge in the near future too) 🙂 A great song is Meghan Trainor’s “No” to get you started. Giddy up rockstars!

Self Love, Personal Growth, Self Love Rockstar
Body Self Love

Self Love, The Gym, and Famous People

Growing up in Miami Beach, I was constantly exposed to many women that fit the mold of “beautiful” in our society- these women were young-looking, in shape, and polished, everywhere around me all the time. I distinctly remember when I went to college in Boston what a different experience it was to see people of many different shapes, sizes, styles, and overall appearance than what I was used to. And when we moved to an artsy town in West Virginia for a few years I got some perspective (and a break) in terms of values and what felt important when it came to appearance.

When we moved back to Miami Beach almost 5 years ago it was a new experience, even worse in some ways because now I was surrounded by moms dropping off their children- all wearing workout clothes (whether they were working out or not) and almost all a size 6 or under… mostly. The pressure was on again. It’s not that I didn’t want to be healthier and feel better about myself, but the energy of “keeping up with the Jones’s” was definitely there…” I did the best I could in those few years- buying more flattering clothing that hid the right spots and highlighted others… walked and worked out when I could- and tried to be gentle with myself and not self loathing of my body as much as possible.

Then about 1 year and a half ago, after a powerful Unleash the Power Within, I finally became motivated to actually join a gym. I hadn’t felt that desire in over 10 years! I joined a kickboxing gym that was hard core and fun! I would still be going there except we moved a few months ago about 45 minutes away from that gym, to a great neighborhood with great schools…. And joined a new gym. Don’t get me wrong this gym is great, but… there are TVS and strobe lights during some of the classes. What a completely different experience!

I took a spin class a few weeks ago and there were music videos on. All the self loathing voices came flooding in, “you don’t look like that. Look how beautiful their bodies are… look how tall they are… look at those curves…” and on and on. I left the gym feeling worse about myself than if I had gone. WTF?

Normally I do not watch music videos or a lot of TV (other than movies I select). I do not buy magazines and try to avoid whatever tabloids are showing at the grocery store. But here, in the gym, were videos of other women I could not avoid. How to make peace with that?

My body is mine, and it changes all the time. What I want more than a “beautiful” by my standards body, is one that works amazingly well, providing me energy and vitality to accomplish anything I want and feel great.

For the record, I have never gone back to that particular class and have since found more enjoyable workouts that lend themselves to more self confidence and a positive self image. The moral of the story is:
Protect yourself from the stimulus you let in around you (magazines, TV, social media, etc.)
Create the environment that is best and most supportive for you (be in in a gym, at work, or at home)
Be gentle with yourself. If you notice you are feeling bad about yourself, use this EFT guide from Brad Yates, or this Louise Hay mirror exercise. .

The challenge this week rockstars is to highlight (or find) ONE supportive environment where you feel great about yourself. This can be in the bathroom looking in the mirror and smiling at yourself for a few minutes a day. Let’s keep this simple. Giddy up rockstars!

Self Love, Personal Growth, Weight Loss
Body Self Love

Getting Support When We Need it- A Self Love Weight Loss Journey

Okay rockstars… I know that you are all awesome and want to conquer the world on your own… BUT- and I’m sure you can see where this might be going (if the title hasn’t given this away already)- sometimes receiving support is really the next step… or at least the path of least resistance. Yes we have to rely on ourselves in terms of controlling our thoughts and being aware of our emotions. Yes we are the only ones in charge of ourselves and all of that. HOWEVER, sometimes we need support. What do I mean?

Support can come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes support is the smallest gesture, such as someone opening a door for us, or giving us a compliment that reminds us of our beauty or great taste in style. Other times support is emotional in nature, like when we call a friend, or go to a seminar to catapult the next stage in personal growth. And also there is teacher/student support, when we open ourselves to learn- this can be in a classroom, via reading a book, watching a video, or any number of methods when we are in “learning” mode.

I found myself in a place recently where I needed emotional support. Even though I am super healthy, eat organic, have done lots of diets, and workout regularly, I have finally come to the place where I am ready for some support to be healthier and shift eating patterns that don’t give me the desired result I want (a.k.a. a more energized, healed, sexy body). I am happy to finally be in this place of receiving support because I had been stuck for a long time. The pattern was knowing what I needed to do/eat, but not following through, then beating myself up about it, then letting the vicious cycle repeat itself again the next day. I’m sure none of you rockstars can relate right?

So what did I do? I looked online and found a weight loss center (yes I did) with tons of great reviews. I had never done this before and definitely felt my own hesitancy about this, “Oh these things never work,” and “Oh they aren’t healthy” and all of that. So I sat with it and then decided to call the center to get a vibe for what to expect. The person that answered the phone was extremely helpful, informative, and yes you guessed it- supportive. I instantly felt the energy of,  “I don’t have to do this alone” and just like that- I made the decision to go for it.

Truth be told I have not learned that much that I did not know before in terms of nutrition and what to eat- but I now have the SUPPORT I need to make the choices I’ve wanted to make for a long time, and it makes all the difference in the world. I’m already feeling lighter, clearer, and less pulled to the sugar addiction from before. I know that every week, I will go and receive more emotional support, along with some healthy nutrition ideas, etc. I am ready to be a free self love rockstar that doesn’t need any particular food or beverage to feel good except some good inner self love awesome sauce.
So the challenge for all of you rockstars this week  is to find something you would love some support with (small or big) and go get you some… and share with us so we can give you some emotional love high five support! Giddy up!

Self Love, Personal Growth, Meditation, Self Love Rockstar
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Finding Rockstar Power When We Feel Powerless

Do you ever have that feeling? The feeling like a pit in your stomach? Maybe after experiencing a loss of some kind, or a breakup, or a natural disaster, or something crazy with the government like a vote passing or someone you didn’t want to get elected getting elected?

This morning I woke up with a heavy sadness about something I felt incredibly powerless about. I felt the pit in my stomach. I noticed my thoughts wanting to swirl into a dark abyss.  I reined them in. I had to continue doing this throughout the day and am still continuing to do it now. Emotions seem to come in waves for me so when the waves come, I have to ride it until it passes, and help it along.

The feeling of powerlessness or helplessness sucks… and it’s not real. I mean, of course the external circumstances are “real” in that they are happening whether or not I want them to, Yes the situation is “real” in that it’s occurred.  But I am never powerless. I always have ONE THING I can control and be powerful over… how I choose to feel and perceive what is around me.

Most people think the concept of “choosing” how we feel is strange because it hasn’t really been taught. People don’t generally teach us how to embrace what we are feeling and then let it go, but that is exactly the most healthy thing to do.

Awhile ago I heard a fantastic example about letting go- when toddlers play with toys, they will pick something up, and then drop it to grab the next thing that catches their eye. Toddlers will not generally overfill their arms to keep grabbing more stuff. They move on, and they are present with what they are doing. Many lessons can be gleaned from this but for now, let’s focus on the “letting go” lesson children can teach us.

I can feel what I am feeling, and then “drop it” and move on. I don’t have to let myself be overcome with an abyss of potential horrendous outcomes and future “maybe’s.” I don’t have to collude with others who feel the same way so we can all swim in a pool of sadness. I can lift myself up and choose something different. How?

First of all, discipline. Straight up Self Love Rockstar discipline. For example, for some extra support over my freaked out thoughts, I played Louise Hay affirmations in the background about safety and well being almost the entire day today. I allowed myself a conversation or two with a close friend for a few minutes wallowing and then moved on. The best thing I can do for me is to realize that:

  1. I am safe
  2. The Universe loves me
  3. Everything is always (and all ways) working out for me

Being a rockstar is not fluffy like dressing up in a tutu and waving a magic wand (although that would be a blast). Sometimes being a rockstar means getting our hands dirty and doing the mental work… but the payoff is worth it.

Now it’s time to make your move… I challenge you rockstar the next time you may find yourself sliding down the slippery slope of powerlessness… to snap yourself out of it and Re-Member who you are. We’ve got this!

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