I used to hear my alarm and hit snooze three times before I ever got up, then felt sluggish all morning. I even bought a “zen” alarm clock with a pleasant chime (although not so pleasant when I was trying to go back to sleep) and still woke up lethargic. No matter how much sleep I got (even 10 hours a night during some points in my life), I still felt tired throughout the day. I thought, “If I could just get enough sleep I’d feel better.” Somehow there was never enough sleep. The more sleep I got, the more tired and lazy I felt. Can you relate to this?

I thought this was just the way I was made. “Some people need less sleep than me,”

was my thought. Or if we get into the whole “pre-Self Love Rockstar” self image, a deeper belief was, “Something is wrong with me. I’m broken and other people are not.” I tried to drink coffee for more energy, but that only upset my stomach and made me all jittery. At some point I don’t consciously remember, I settled and accepted that life was just like that for me.

Change Your Physiological State by Moving Your Body

Anyhoo that was a long time ago (thank goodness). It all changed when I went to a seminar that was unlike any other seminar I’d been to before. There were long hours with few breaks, and not a lot of opportunity to sleep my (at that time) standard 8 hours a night. We were up early until very late and I felt incredible! The speaker was Tony Robbins, and he was talking about how one of the ways we can change our physiological state is by moving our bodies. He basically said that when we sit around and “relax,” we don’t get more energized, we get more tired.  Something clicked in my brain and I realized that all these years I had a belief that, “if I just rest enough, I’ll have more energy.” But that never happened. So I thought I would give this new concept a try.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting any one of you doesn’t sleep at all (I still like to sleep 6-7 hours a night ideally), but the time spent awake is what is different now. When I wake up, I have conditioned myself to pretty much jump out of bed with a thought something like, “Let’s do this!” This sounds nuts, but it works! I hardly ever hit the snooze button, and if I do it’s for like 2 or 3 minutes (and it’s rare). My whole morning is shaped differently as a result of this one shift- of getting up out of bed with the intention of feeling energized. Again, this sounds almost too good to be true, but starting the day with intention like this makes a huge difference! Get your Rockstar Badass self up in the mornings!

This week’s challenge rockstars is to TRY THIS! Tomorrow morning when you wake up let yourself get up and psyche yourself into feeling energized (even if you have to “fake it ‘til you make it.”) Think of a phrase you like, such as, “Let’s Do This,” or, “Giddy Up,” or “I am unstoppable.” Giddy up Rockstars!

Every since I can remember, I have loved sweets. When I was in elementary school, I would sneak over and buy candy at school whenever I could. At the grocery store I practiced my puppy dog stare at the bakery section until a nice person behind the counter asked if I wanted to sample a cookie. It didn’t matter that I am lactose intolerant and have a pretty strong reaction to any kind of dairy products (like chocolate for example). I suffered the consequences and pretty much had a stuffy nose throughout childhood, despite my mother’s best efforts.

In junior high and high school, I took pride in my ability to eat the most candy out of everyone (probably the way some drinkers take pride in their ability to ‘hold their liquor”). I never thought about it as a problem or issue until recently.

When I started dieting in high school, I found all kinds of unhealthy artificial alternatives so I could still have my “sweets.” First I switched to “nonfat” items and later I switched to honey, maple syrup, and organic sugar. I still felt the daily pull and cravings. I could never have enough sugar. It wasn’t until about 7 months ago when I started a new way of eating and decided to go “cold turkey” with sugar, that things really changed. Confession #1- I still use stevia, which is still a sweetener.

Turning the Corner to Self Love

Anyway I’m doing much better now (am in great shape and overall eat incredibly healthy), but still have those days where I fall off the cliff- probably similar to any addict. Thinking of the pull towards sugar as an addiction has been helpful because it allows me to not minimize the intensity of the addiction. Confession #2- if I have a day where I let myself eat whatever I want, I tend to go really overboard and feel really nauseous afterward (like when I was growing up).

Why do I put myself through the fight? Again, I am no expert in addiction, but I am sure there are correlations with any type of addiction. Here is a happy confession (#3)- the next day I wake up and ALWAYS go back to my routine. I go to the gym and cut out all sweets including Stevia. Screw you sugar addiction- I always win in the end!

For me, the self love rockstar part is forgiving myself and as Louise Hay says “loving myself anyway”- all of me so-to-speak… even the part that still feels like it gets nourishment from sugar or sweets.

I read somewhere once that people who are drawn to sweets need more overall sweetness in their life. I feel so rich in sweetness already… so not sure emotionally what I am looking for… maybe some safety or security? Confession#4- I don’t even really enjoy the food while I’m eating it.

Also for the final and most embarrassing confession, and this is why I generally don’t have any sugar- I never feel satisfied. I could just go on and on and it doesn’t fill the void of whatever I think it’s going to fill when I start eating it- the only reason I stop is because I feel sick.

There are my confessions- open and vulnerable. I am going to love myself anyway. Your turn rockstars… find something you feel vulnerable about and share it with someone (even if it’s just yourself in the mirror) ,or share it with us- and then love yourself anyway. Giddy up rockstars!

I still remember the first moment I became aware of nutrition or what I ate. I was 15 and I had always been active (on the cheerleading team and things like that) up until middle school. I was so skinny my dad used to say things like, “You eat like a bird. You are going to fly away.” Anyway I stopped exercising and all summer I ate bagels with cream cheese late and night and gained weight. I didn’t notice until we took our school pictures in tenth grade and I saw my face and thought, “Who is that?” That was the beginning of the nutrition journey and exploration, in terms of starting to eat healthier (and also being self conscious).

I still didn’t do much different in any other aspect of my life, in terms of taking care of myself. It wasn’t until my third year in college that I started to question things I had been taught (related to health and body self love). I had been invited to a network marketing seminar. Have you ever been to one? Well there was a ton of amazing energy, and someone on a stage talking about saving the environment and making a huge amount of money doing it. I was completely engaged. Then they started talking about things like vitamin absorption, chemicals in our products (hair and body), and how unclean our water was. I never thought about what was in the products I used or the food I ate (except maybe how fattening it was).

After that evening I started this long journey of questioning… looking at labels and starting to decide for myself what is and isn’t healthy for my body, and not taking for granted that my doctor or the government was right. I became an active participant regarding my health and health-related choices.

To clarify, I am talking about EVERYTHING related to our health-

• What we eat
• What we drink
• What we put on our skin and body
• What we put in the air and ingest (from cleaning products, to air fresheners, to perfumes)

There are layers to this process and it’s important to start slow, wherever you may be on this journey of discovery.

A good place to start is with basic essentials like what we put on and in our body. What kind of deodorant, toothpaste, and skin care do we use? For example, deodorant should not contain aluminum, which doesn’t breakdown in the body and is a potential cause of Alzheimer’s disease. Regarding toothpaste, do your research regarding fluoride to decide for yourself if you still want to use it. More and more organic and natural skin care options are available (where you can actually read the label and pronounce the ingredients).

Regarding food… there are tons and tons of different theories of what to eat, but all seem to agree that organic is better than conventional wherever possible, and that antibiotic/hormone-free, wild caught meats and fish are better than conventional/farm-raised food.

Finally regarding what we drink- water is the best option, but what kind? Bottled water is better than tap water but not always by much. If possible invest in a water filter in your home, which saves tons of money over time and helps the environment by reducing plastic ending up in landfills. They cost under $100 for a good one and last for years.

We’ll get more in detail with future posts, but for now the challenge for the week rockstars… find one body self care product and modify it based on your own research and intuition. Enjoy the journey and giddy up!

Patience is a quality I strive for, and I like to see quick results. The results then motivate to keep going at whatever task I am doing or whatever I am focused on. But sometimes large goals that us Self Love Rockstars set for ourselves TAKE TIME. I can see some of you rolling your eyes already… but it’s true.

For example- I wanted a healthier body. I mentioned in a previous blog that I decided to get some support and go to an actual place with an actual personalized program. I am 1 pound away from my goal (I’ve lost 30 lbs.) and feel incredible. BUT it didn’t happen overnight. It happened one pound at a time. One choice at a time. One workout at a time. And truly I have enjoyed the journey. Well… not in the beginning if I am being totally honest. After the first couple of weeks, though, once I got acclimated to eating less and different food choices, I felt fueled by the results I was getting.

The point is that here I am on the other side of a “big” goal and it feels fantastic. And this time I really have ENJOYED the journey. Abraham Hicks mentions this- having fun along the way, and that there is no “real” destination. Louise Hay mentions this in the context of loving ourselves more- she says if we just love ourselves a teeny bit more every day, then after a few weeks we love ourselves a LOT more, and it keeps increasing in gradual increments until we look back and realize how far we’ve come.

Writing a book, changing careers, increasing income- some goals like this can happen quickly, but others will happen one action at a time. We just need to “plant the seed” so to speak, and then trust that it is growing when we water it! We can be mindful of weeds and pluck them out diligently, but never, never should we mess with the dirt or the seed that is under the ground.

Challenge for the week- think of a goal you accomplished over time. Is there another goal you want to achieve now? See if you can break it down into 1 or 2 action steps you can take this week to move it forward. If you’re feeling really bold, share it in the comments section and put it out there! Giddy Up Rockstars!

Growing up in Miami Beach, I was constantly exposed to many women that fit the mold of “beautiful” in our society- these women were young-looking, in shape, and polished, everywhere around me all the time. I distinctly remember when I went to college in Boston what a different experience it was to see people of many different shapes, sizes, styles, and overall appearance than what I was used to. And when we moved to an artsy town in West Virginia for a few years I got some perspective (and a break) in terms of values and what felt important when it came to appearance.

When we moved back to Miami Beach almost 5 years ago it was a new experience, even worse in some ways because now I was surrounded by moms dropping off their children- all wearing workout clothes (whether they were working out or not) and almost all a size 6 or under… mostly. The pressure was on again. It’s not that I didn’t want to be healthier and feel better about myself, but the energy of “keeping up with the Jones’s” was definitely there…” I did the best I could in those few years- buying more flattering clothing that hid the right spots and highlighted others… walked and worked out when I could- and tried to be gentle with myself and not self loathing of my body as much as possible.

Then about 1 year and a half ago, after a powerful Unleash the Power Within, I finally became motivated to actually join a gym. I hadn’t felt that desire in over 10 years! I joined a kickboxing gym that was hard core and fun! I would still be going there except we moved a few months ago about 45 minutes away from that gym, to a great neighborhood with great schools…. And joined a new gym. Don’t get me wrong this gym is great, but… there are TVS and strobe lights during some of the classes. What a completely different experience!

I took a spin class a few weeks ago and there were music videos on. All the self loathing voices came flooding in, “you don’t look like that. Look how beautiful their bodies are… look how tall they are… look at those curves…” and on and on. I left the gym feeling worse about myself than if I had gone. WTF?

Normally I do not watch music videos or a lot of TV (other than movies I select). I do not buy magazines and try to avoid whatever tabloids are showing at the grocery store. But here, in the gym, were videos of other women I could not avoid. How to make peace with that?

My body is mine, and it changes all the time. What I want more than a “beautiful” by my standards body, is one that works amazingly well, providing me energy and vitality to accomplish anything I want and feel great.

For the record, I have never gone back to that particular class and have since found more enjoyable workouts that lend themselves to more self confidence and a positive self image. The moral of the story is:
Protect yourself from the stimulus you let in around you (magazines, TV, social media, etc.)
Create the environment that is best and most supportive for you (be in in a gym, at work, or at home)
Be gentle with yourself. If you notice you are feeling bad about yourself, use this EFT guide from Brad Yates, or this Louise Hay mirror exercise. .

The challenge this week rockstars is to highlight (or find) ONE supportive environment where you feel great about yourself. This can be in the bathroom looking in the mirror and smiling at yourself for a few minutes a day. Let’s keep this simple. Giddy up rockstars!