Category: Rockstar Awesomesauce

Self Love, Personal Growth
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Getting Comfortable with Change

Even though intellectually I understand that the only constant aspect in our lives is change, I still struggle with it sometimes. A false sense of security comes from having a routine and things seeming the same on the outside, even though in reality things are always changing… and it feels comforting somehow. Then something happens- it can be as small as dinner plans changing or as big as a move to another state- and it can feel like the carpet is pulled out from under me. Have you ever felt that way? How do I get comfortable with change?

Yet that is the illusion of it all- things change around us all the time! We cannot control anything around us whatsoever- certainly not nature, the environment, or definitely not other people (unfortunately).

Of course there is one way we can gain security and control with practice. Can you guess?

How Do I Get Comfortable With Change?

We can control ourselves. Yep- our SELVES. Specifically, we can control how we react, feel, and act in every moment. We can decide right now to feel good or smile regardless of what is going on around us, whether we are stuck in traffic or holding a crying baby in the night. We of course can also choose to feel bad. It’s up to us. Go ahead and try it now- smile (for at least 5 seconds)… it feels good!

The great thing about knowing this truth about having control and choosing how we feel and act  is that we can learn how. It would have been amazing if we all grew up in schools that taught us more about emotional intelligence, self control, and other amazing life tools. Thank goodness It is never too late to learn.

One of the best ways hands down to get in touch with you and your process is by going to a live event like Tony Robbin’s Unleash the Power Within- where you are immersed for several days in implementing this exact practice of becoming aware of your feelings (state) and learning how to shift gears when you want to. The empowerment that comes from knowing that you can feel good and are in control of YOU and your reactions is incredible.

Another great tool is listening to Louise Hay’s lectures online about changing the way we think using positive affirmations. She even recommends listening to them in the background while doing other things so that the messages sink into our subconscious.

An important note here is to be gentle with yourself in learning new tools… patterns can sometimes take a bit to shift- not always but sometimes. Celebrate small accomplishments and steps forward. Before you know it you will be several steps higher, and then higher on your path. Let’s enjoy the journey and become change welcoming rockstars! Go out of your way to create change and do things differently. Take a different route to work! Walk down different paths or shop in different stores than you are accustomed to- let’s do this!

Rockstar Challenge:

For the next 3 days do at least one thing different from the routine (even if it’s eating a different breakfast than you are used to)! And share it in the comments section below. We will do this too! Giddy up rockstars!

Self Love, Personal Growth, Self Love Rockstar
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Self Love and Setting Boundaries

More and more people in the personal growth space are talking about “setting boundaries.” What does that mean? I always visualize a boundary as literally taking a stick and drawing a line in the sand in front of me creating a personal space. If someone is speaking to me disrespectfully or rude, I will mention something about it and “set a boundary.” I am not rude about it, and I didn’t always feel comfortable doing it. Now it feels amazing. Setting a boundary can be as polite as, “Please don’t speak to me that way,” or simply walking away. A good question to ask yourself is whether or not you have healthy boundaries with others.

Do you find yourself more comfortable letting someone say something rude to you and making an excuse for them rather than calling them out on it? Do you give in to your parents or children when they want something to avoid confrontation? What about with work… are you taken advantage of in that environment or do you find yourself taking on more projects than you truly feel comfortable with?

One of the side effects of having a lack of self love in one’s life is also an issue with setting boundaries and “claiming” space. If we don’t feel worthy to even love ourselves, who are we to ask someone to stop doing something or leave us alone? In the journey of loving ourselves more, a great exercise is to practice setting healthy boundaries in all areas of your life- with loved ones, friends, colleagues, even bosses or other authority figures.

How?

Starting small is key. Start at the bottom of a staircase setting little boundaries and take one step at a time. Before you know it you will look back and be halfway up the stairs with confidence and healthy boundaries. An example of a small boundary step would be as simple as not taking action right away on something requested of you, or saying “yes” right away. Instead of answering a call, replying to an email right away, or saying “sure,” before committing to something you may not really feel like doing, instead consider pausing or saying “let me check” or “let me think about that.” This sends a message to the Universe that says “my needs are important.”

A bigger step may be declining an invitation somewhere (even if you don’t have other plans— just because you don’t want to go!) or not taking care of something right away for work. I’m not suggesting everyone gets fired for not doing their job- simply that sometimes prioritization means that all work does not get completed (at the expense of your quality of life) and that it doesn’t honor you or show your rockstar self love yumminess to let other people dictate what you do, when you do it, and how often.

I’m saying that- yes here it comes— it is OKAY to be “self-ish” and for those escalating the staircase journey of self love, it is ESSENTIAL!

Rockstar Self Love Challenge for the week- say “no” to someone or something at least 2 times this week and see how it feels! (For those of you who find this easy we will have a “say yes” challenge in the near future too) 🙂 A great song is Meghan Trainor’s “No” to get you started. Giddy up rockstars!

Self Love, Personal Growth, Meditation, Self Love Rockstar
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Finding Rockstar Power When We Feel Powerless

Do you ever have that feeling? The feeling like a pit in your stomach? Maybe after experiencing a loss of some kind, or a breakup, or a natural disaster, or something crazy with the government like a vote passing or someone you didn’t want to get elected getting elected?

This morning I woke up with a heavy sadness about something I felt incredibly powerless about. I felt the pit in my stomach. I noticed my thoughts wanting to swirl into a dark abyss.  I reined them in. I had to continue doing this throughout the day and am still continuing to do it now. Emotions seem to come in waves for me so when the waves come, I have to ride it until it passes, and help it along.

The feeling of powerlessness or helplessness sucks… and it’s not real. I mean, of course the external circumstances are “real” in that they are happening whether or not I want them to, Yes the situation is “real” in that it’s occurred.  But I am never powerless. I always have ONE THING I can control and be powerful over… how I choose to feel and perceive what is around me.

Most people think the concept of “choosing” how we feel is strange because it hasn’t really been taught. People don’t generally teach us how to embrace what we are feeling and then let it go, but that is exactly the most healthy thing to do.

Awhile ago I heard a fantastic example about letting go- when toddlers play with toys, they will pick something up, and then drop it to grab the next thing that catches their eye. Toddlers will not generally overfill their arms to keep grabbing more stuff. They move on, and they are present with what they are doing. Many lessons can be gleaned from this but for now, let’s focus on the “letting go” lesson children can teach us.

I can feel what I am feeling, and then “drop it” and move on. I don’t have to let myself be overcome with an abyss of potential horrendous outcomes and future “maybe’s.” I don’t have to collude with others who feel the same way so we can all swim in a pool of sadness. I can lift myself up and choose something different. How?

First of all, discipline. Straight up Self Love Rockstar discipline. For example, for some extra support over my freaked out thoughts, I played Louise Hay affirmations in the background about safety and well being almost the entire day today. I allowed myself a conversation or two with a close friend for a few minutes wallowing and then moved on. The best thing I can do for me is to realize that:

  1. I am safe
  2. The Universe loves me
  3. Everything is always (and all ways) working out for me

Being a rockstar is not fluffy like dressing up in a tutu and waving a magic wand (although that would be a blast). Sometimes being a rockstar means getting our hands dirty and doing the mental work… but the payoff is worth it.

Now it’s time to make your move… I challenge you rockstar the next time you may find yourself sliding down the slippery slope of powerlessness… to snap yourself out of it and Re-Member who you are. We’ve got this!

Self Love and Compassion in a Country Divided | Self Love Resources
Rockstar Awesomesauce

Compassion and Self Love in a Divided Country

I recently was given the opportunity to travel to New York City for a conference. My friend and I decided to fly in a day early to take in all the city has to offer. Visiting NYC was on my bucket list and I am very grateful of the timing of my visit. The election had ended a week earlier and protests were erupting all over the city. I was apprehensive, but never back down from a challenge (being the rockstar that I am). Traveling to a big city…the largest city in the US…well if I’m honest, it did make me a little nervous.

I grew up in the suburbs of a small coastal city in Texas. Population 200,000-250,000, and the suburban area I grew up in…is even smaller. Traveling was a privilege in our family, but by the time I was 16 years old I had 10+ stamps on my passport and visited handful of states in the US. I was hooked. I love to travel! I grow and learn from each destination and the local communities within them.

Typically, when I travel I am a Planner. I like to have a rough plan of stops I would like to see and then if a surprise arises, cool. This trip was different. I totally surrendered and wandered through NYC from the 911 Memorial to Central Park with my friend. Experiencing the city in this way, we  were fortunate to get a feel for the people and the heartbeat of the city. The people of NYC were the biggest surprise to me- they are welcoming, friendly, and courteous. People of all backgrounds, income status, and careers, were so nice. I had heard that the people of New York are rude and in a hurry, but this was just not my experience.

NYC taught me that we can come together as a Nation. I saw that no matter the color of our skin, our religious background, or income status we can live, work, and respect each other. We can have different political views, and discussions about our political views. As long as we respect and speak from our hearts, I believe we can come together.

NYC is a melting pot of this beautiful world as is our nation. Instead of yelling at each other or dismissing each other’s views, we can instead hold everyone in this beautiful nation and its people in our hearts. We can pray for peace and safety for everyone- democrats, republicans, independent political officials, and police officers. We can be compassionate with everyone.

Giving people the opportunity to be heard and really listening to them is the best way to provide compassion. Then, above all, is to be compassionate with ourselves. When we really listen to ourselves and accept our feelings without judgment, self love becomes easy. Compassion is the medicine for ourselves and others. The election, like every experience in the “Earth school,” offers us opportunities to give and receive this medicine. Giddy up!

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